Maybe what Kennedy Douglas meant was that having balance was a process. Balancing is being in a process. When you say ‘I have balance’, it is like stopping something that should be in motion. Have you ever tried to stay still on your bike without touching the ground with your feet and say: “look at me, how I balance my balance……”? Before finishing your sentence you would be on the ground again. You need to ride your bike to keep balancing. Is any reflection on balance allowed at all then? Maybe it’s better not to open your mouth while riding your bike…….
“You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership” said Dwight D. Eisenhower, but many managers don’t know about it apparently. You cannot force people to follow you. In organisations if people want to keep their jobs, they may pretend they follow your vision, but only till 5:30 pm. After 5:30 pm your leadership is gone till 8:30 am the next day. Is that leadership?
What makes a good leader become an excellent leader? Is it their vision? Or is it their charisma to inspire other people. Managers can learn how to motivate others, how to convince them to their vision, but real leadership is recognised by the passion of making that vision come true. Is it passion of a leader or passion of followers that makes it come true, or is it their passion together?
You don’t have to use many words to convince someone to your vision, but the words you are using need to be filled with enthusiasm. That is how people sense the spirit of leadership. Does it mean that leadership development programs should include teaching competencies such as enthusiasm? Some people do not consider enthusiasm as a competence at all. However, being able to enthused yourself and enthuse others is a definitely a competence. If enthusiasm is the competence, this means it can be measured, developed and finally measured again. Good leadership development programs can be assessed in terms of their effectiveness, even when it comes to developing passion in leaders.
Posted in achieving results, career coaching, emotions, HR, leadership, Leadership Development, Learning & Development, Measuring Coaching Results, motivation, People Performance Management, Performance Coaching, success, team management | Tags: achieving results, career coaching, changing attitudes, coach, coaching, coaching competencies, com, competencies development, emotions, goals, high achievers, leadership, life, motivation, People Performance Management, performance improvement, performance management, pick performers, success, team management
It’s easy to talk about performance coaching when the client says: “I never deliver reports on time to my manager and I would like to change that in my performance”, but usually we don’t hear that. What we hear is: “I really don’t like my job, I think I have too much things to do and I don’t think they really recognise me as a professional”.
Let’s see what happens if we don’t concentrate on performance:
Client: “I really don’t like my job”.
Coach: “So what do you want?”
Client: “I don’t know, maybe this job is not for me.”
Coach: “What kind of job is for you?”
Client: “I always wanted to be writer.”
Coach: “Do you want to become a writer? Is that your goal?”
Client: “Oh no, I’m just saying I don’t like my job”.
Coaching concentrated on performance:
Client: “I really don’t like my job”.
Coach: “So what do you want?”
Client: “I don’t know, maybe this job is not for me.”
Coach: “How do you know that?”
Client: “I never manage to do things right”.
Coach: “What things?”
Client: “For example, I am supposed to deliver reports on Fridays, but I’m always late. There are simply too many things to do. My boss gives me everything he does not want to do”.
Coach: “So what is that you want in your job?”
Client: “I want to do things right.”
Coach: “What does it mean?”
Client: “To deliver reports on time and to be noticed as a professional in my field.”
Coach: “What do you need to do in order to do that?”
Client: “I don’t know. There are simply too many things to do”.
Coach: “What do you need to do to deliver reports on time and be noticed as a professional while having so many things to do?”
Client: “Maybe I could talk to my boss about it? And probably I could plan better?”
Coach: “What do you want to say to your boss? And what it means to plan better? How much better? What exactly you need to do?
Client: (client builds his plan of action and we continue working on his planning skills, assertiveness, and building his image as a professional in his work environment)
What I presented above is an element of performance coaching which focus on evidences of our behaviours. We look for signs of performance in client’s talk: “How do you know that?”; “What things?”; “What does it mean?”. And we guide client to focus on performance: “What do you need to do in order to do that?; “What do you want to say?; “What exactly you need to do?”.
Performance coaching is natural element of each and every good coaching process. That this is how clients can recognise if they are moving forward and if they are closer to what they really want to achieve.
Posted in achieving results, career coaching, career transition, HR, leadership, Leadership Development, Learning & Development, Measuring Coaching Results, motivation, People Performance Management, Performance Coaching, planning, self coaching, time management, What is Coaching | Tags: achieving results, career coaching, career transition, changes, changing attitudes, coach, coaching, coaching competencies, competencies development, competenies management, effective coaching, goals, leadership, life, meas, motivation, Performance Coaching, performance management, planning, self coaching, time management
He is so successful …He has a good job, lots of money and beautiful wife. She is also very successful … She has him. Their friend is even more successful he has no job, some money and he is single. His sister made her dream come true … she has a baby. What is success? How do you define it? A few years ago I was asked to prepare a presentation for the conference dedicated for women and it was called: “Women of Success”. The presentation was supposed to be about … SUCCESS. At the beginning I was trying to define ‘success’ and understand in what moments of my life I felt the most successful. The first answer that came to my mind was …”when I hug my child”. I felt the most successful in my life when I was hugging my child. I thought to myself, “this is not what they are expecting”, “they asked me to have a presentation on success and they invited a lot of businesswomen ….. I bet they don’t want to hear about hugging a kid”. So I decided to do some small research and I called a few friends friends: “Hi, this is me, I know you’re busy, but can you just quickly tell me when you feel the most successful? And what does ‘success’ mean to you?”. Imagine that you are my friend, who wants to help me with my presentation for this conference. Can you just quickly tell me when you feel the most successful? And what does it mean ‘to be successful’ to you?
Success is something different to everyone. For some people ‘divorce’ will mean a failure and for some it will be a sign of success, for some people accepting CEO position will be a sign of success and for some, it will be a sign of weakness, because “I could not say NO, even though I knew I was not ready”; “I could not say NO, even if I did not want this position, I knew it would influence my life work balance negatively.”
Successful people are not only FOCUSED on what they want, they also KNOW WHAT THEY WANT and that’s why they have a VISION OF their SUCCESS.
It was another common thing for all successful people that I met in my life. They all had ….a VISION of their SUCCESS. You won’t believe me how different those visions were, but again there were a few things that were the same and common in all cases.
WHAT EXACTLY? – A DETAILED VISION OF SUCCESS
Their VISIONS could be precisely described by them, because they actually could SEE IT in their minds. Some people could see themselves in expensive suits, in a luxury car with a beautiful wife sitting in a car. Some of them saw themselves in a T-shirt and shorts, doing nothing, resting at the beach (and knowing exactly what they had to do to be in that place). Some of them were seeing themselves with family and kids around. The common thing was, that they all had a VISION which they could see and describe in detail.
HOW EXACTLY? – STRATEGY OF SUCCESSFUL STEPS
They all knew as well HOW they are going to MAKE a VISION come true. They knew what their STRATEGY is. They had small visions of each step of that strategy in their minds.
WHO EXACTLY … CAN DO IT? – YOUR INFLUENCE ON YOUR SUCCESS
They also knew they could do everything that is depended on them. SO if they wanted to earn a lot of money, the question they asked themselves was Does it depend on me? Yes, I can do it. What I need to do is to increase sales in my company.
Hmmm, Increase sales in my company means I want my customers to buy more. Does it depend on me? Hmmm … It depends on your customers how much they buy…BUT you can make it depended on you. You can ask yourself a question: What can I do to make my customers buy more? Now, this is something you have influence on….
WHAT EXACTLY WILL HAPPEN NEXT? – CONSEQUENCES OF THE SUCCESS
What I’ve learned from successful people I talked to, they always think about the “good” and “bad” consequences of their successes. They think: “What will happen if I achieve what I want?”; “What will happen if I don’t achieve what I want”; “What will not happen if I achieve what I want?”; “What will not happen if I don’t achieve what I want?”.
The CEO guy would know what to do years ago If he had asked himself that four last questions.
What I said during the presentation was that: “Success is a state of mind. You can be successful all the time no matter what you do. Once you feel successful, it is so easy to see your vision, it just comes to your mind with all its successful steps, with all answers what you need to do to convince others and it’s so easy to do that and so easy to see all the consequences of it and feel exactly what you want to feel right from the beginning.”
Posted in About Goals, achieving results, attention, beliefs, brain exercises, career coaching, changing beliefs, decision making, happiness, leadership, motivation, planning, questions, self coaching, stories, success, taking action, values, work life balance | Tags: achieving results, attitudes, beliefs, brain exercises, career coaching, changing attitudes, changing beliefs, coaching, decision making, decisions, expectations, failure, goals, happiness, high achievers, leadership, life, motivation, pick performers, planning, self coaching, stories, success, taking action, values, work life balance
What do you do when you meet very successful people in your life? I ask them the same question: How do you do it? I’ve been looking for things that are common in their answers and I’ve found something. BEING FOCUSED! That’s what I heard most often.
You can ask: But HOW can I BE FOCUSED? I know that some of you will say: I am focused, I do many things, I’m focused on my work, family, friends, my studies, my husband’s studies, my children, my career, my hobby, my music, books, movies, my emails, my calls, shopping, jogging, drinking water, watching news, watering flowers, losing weight, having shower, having sex, reading blogs and brushing teeth. Maybe the only thing hard to BE FOCUSED on is sleeping, but besides that I am focused … on many things. Believe me, people I asked the question, they sleep well, because THEY ARE FOCUSED. THEY A R E F O C U S E D.
NOW, I want you to tell me three criteria you use when you are committing yourself to something. What are three things you consider when undertaking and activity. Sometimes those criteria are called values. It does not matter how we NAME THEM if only we can NAME THEM now. You can WRITE THEM DOWN. 3 words!
I’m waiting ________________________________You’re writing._______________________________________________________You’re writing _______________________________________I’m waiting _______________________________________________ You’re writing _____________________________________________________ 3 words ______________________________________________That’s ok! _______________________________I’m waiting ____________________________________________ And You’re writing them down.
I’ll give you an example: development, fun, result. Another example: pleasure, money, respect. What about yours? ___
If you cannot NAME THEM, spending some time to define them would BRING YOUR LIFE to the track YOU WANT TO CHOOSE.
If you’ve you found them, you can filter every single project, every single task and each little thing that you spend your time on using your 3 criteria.
I’m focused on my … and it gives me …
Work development – YES, result – YES, fun – NO Decision?
Family development – YES, result – YES, fun – YES Cool!
Friends development – NO, results – NO, fun – YES Decision?
My studies development – YES, results – YES, fun – NO Decision?
My husband’s studies development – NO, results – NO, fun – NO Decision?
Even if your results are YES, YES, NO or NO, YES, NO you still can continue with BEING FOCUSED on the task or thing because one YES can be enough. However if you put 3 times NO with some projects or tasks, my question is: Are there any decision you want to make? BE FOCUSED and SLEEP WELL unless you decide differently.
Posted in About Goals, achieving results, attention, beliefs, brain exercises, career coaching, changing beliefs, decision making, happiness, job seekers guide, motivation, questions, self coaching, stories, success, taking action, values, work life balance | Tags: achieving results, attitudes, beliefs, brain exercises, career coaching, changes, changing attitudes, changing beliefs, coach, coaching, decision making, decisions, goals, happiness, high achievers, intention, life, motivation, moving forward, pick performers, secrets of success, self coaching, stories, success, successful people, taking action, values, work life balance
I understand, but WHY me? I understand rationally, but I keep asking myself WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? My question to you is: Where it leads you? Where ‘WHY’ question leads you? What happens when you ask yourself a question: WHY? WHY leads you to the PAST. ‘WHY’ focuses your attention on things that have already happened. Your mind starts analysing past experiences when you ask WHY questions. Is that what you want? Do you want to live life in your PAST or do you want to live life NOW and build your FUTURE.
It’s your choice. You can choose where you want to live in your PAST, PRESENT or FUTURE.
If you choose to live in your PAST, continue to ask yourself Why questions. If you choose to live in your PAST stop breathing. If you choose to live in your PAST stop feeling. If you choose to live in your PAST be critical to everything that’s new. If you choose to live in your PAST, forget about your FUTURE.
IF you choose to live NOW, take care of how you FEEL. If you choose to live NOW, make sure YOU FEEL GOOD and ready to ACT. If you choose to live NOW, HAVE A GOAL. If you choose to live NOW, TAKE ACTION. If you choose to live NOW, FEEL GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GOAL AND TAKE ACTION. If you choose to live NOW, BUILD YOUR FUTURE.
IF you choose to live in the FUTURE, THINK ABOUT IT NOW. If you choose to live in the FUTURE, RAISE YOUR HEAD AND LOOK AHEAD. If you choose to live in the FUTURE, LET GO OF THE PAST. If you choose to live in the FUTURE, START NOW!
How much time do you spend thinking about PAST? Is it good for you NOW?
Posted in About Goals, achieving results, attention, career coaching, career transition, decision making, job seekers guide, motivation, questions, seeking job, self coaching, taking action, thinking patterns, time, time management | Tags: attitudes, beliefs, career coaching, career transition, changes, changing attitudes, changing beliefs, coaching, decision making, future, goals, job seeking, life, motivation, moving forward, now, past, present, problems, questions, self coaching, taking action, thinking patterns, time, unemployment
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